Imposter syndrome with 30 years’ experience?

It’s hard to believe that it’s been 30 years since I started teaching – but it has, and yet I still have imposter syndrome. Every. Single. Year. Despite decades of experience and having been on my campus throughout my entire career, I still have that moment when I feel completely unprepared and unable to do my job.

It’s a feeling that is quite fleeting, and I know exactly when it will hit. The week before students return, as the teachers finish their trainings and meetings, we finally have time to work in our classrooms. That’s the day I start making my plans for the first week back. I open up planbook and start planning my first week. I finish the first week and then I’m hit with a feeling of dread – how can I possibly come up with 36 weeks of plans? It’s an impossible task! That’s the imposter syndrome rearing its head.

Getting over imposter syndrome

A few years ago, I realized that this was happening. I was able to identify exactly when it was happening, and that allowed me to “get over” it. I also realized that it was a bit of a silly fear, because nobody was asking me to make a year’s worth of plans right now. If I could do one week’s worth of plans – and then do it 35 more times – I would find my way to the end of the year.

It’s crazy to think back 30 years ago when I really was an imposter – well, not completely but definitely more than I would be today! I was hired on Friday afternoon and students were coming in on Monday. I had no curriculum, no textbooks, no new teacher induction or training on how to do anything. I got my key on Friday, came in on Saturday morning to clean my classroom a little bit, and do the best I could to prepare for Monday. Things have definitely changed!

This year, I’m starting the year with 29 years of experience under my belt. I’m very familiar with the curriculum, having done the summer curriculum work almost every single year of the past ten years. I know exactly what to expect and I have so many more resources. And yet without fail, that imposter syndrome pops up every single time.

This past week, we welcomed our students back on campus. I have three sections of second year and one section of first year. I’m instructional leader (aka department chair) this year, so I have an extra release period to attend meetings. I have the internet and a ton of resources I can use for my classes. It was a pretty good week, and I followed my first week of plans and made my plans for next week. No imposter syndrome in the second week – it only seems to hit me that first week before students come back.

What did we do? My first year students learned how to say hello – and I told them how very important it is to greet people with a Bonjour before you say anything else. We learned each other’s names and how to introduce ourselves. And towards the end of the week we read the story Je Dis Bonjour so they could see just how much they’ve learned in only one week!

My second year students practiced saying dates in French and we looked at the holidays in several different countries. Towards the end of the week we did a speaking activity so they could find out each other’s birthdays – you can get the freebie here! It’s always challenging to come back after the summer break, but their French is coming back to them. I think a few of them feel a bit of imposter syndrome themselves ;-).